[Vynnetanon]

Love is a more complex phenomenon than attachment, and therefore more difficult to define and study. People crave love, live for it, die because of it. When people are asked why they are friends with someone, they readily justify their answer. Young people find the same tendencies in relation to their loved ones, explaining that they are full of virtues. Older people note that they love, rather "in spite of" than for something. They are aware of themselves as the source of love, and not of their partner. The situation becomes even more obvious if love is unrequited. For a young man or a girl, love is, most often, an unfamiliar feeling. They do not yet know how it comes and how it goes. The appearance of an object of love is a highly significant event in the life of a young person, causing a "storm" of emotions, intense experiences. "Adolescence is characterized by a new type of communication, the subject of which is the young person himself as the subject of relations. The biggest discoveries in such relationships are made about oneself '

'The youthful need for self-disclosure often outweighs the interest in the other, as he actually is, prompting not so much to choose a loved one, but to invent it' Mudrik L. V. Modern high school student. A textbook on age psychology / ed. by D. I. Feldstein, - M., 1996, p. 267. Genuine intimacy of relationships in youth, that is, the combination of life goals and prospects of lovers while preserving the individuality and peculiarities of each, is possible only on the basis of a relatively stable image of the 'I'. While he is away, the young man often rushes between the desire to completely merge with another person and the fear of losing himself in this merger.

To understand the psychological differences between adult and adolescent love, three points are especially important: the relative completion of the formation of self-consciousness; the expansion and differentiation of the sphere of communication and activity; the emergence of new intimate attachments.

Love implies a greater degree of intimacy than friendship, it seems to include friendship. Love is a high degree of emotionally positive attitude of the subject, who distinguishes his object from others and places it in the center of his life needs and interests. If at the beginning of youth the main confidant (the person with whom personal problems are discussed) is usually a friend of his own sex, then later this place is no longer compensated by a same-sex friendship; moreover, feeling that he is lagging behind his peers in this respect, the young man sometimes becomes less frank with friends, closes himself in. Psychosexual difficulties are one of the main causes of youthful loneliness.

Often, a youthful dream of love expresses, first of all, a thirst for emotional contact, understanding, spiritual intimacy. The need for self-disclosure and intimate human intimacy and sensual-erotic desires very often do not coincide and can be directed to different objects. Psychological intimacy is initially easier to achieve with a person of his own sex, with whom a teenager is connected by a wide range of common significant experiences, including erotic ones.

The love experiences of young men contain more erotic and especially human components, while women have more pronounced pragmatic, storgic and manic features. Manic hobbies are more typical for teenagers and young men than for adults.' Researchers have found that some styles, for example, eros, suggest a high degree of satisfaction with relationships, while others - such as ludus - often bring less satisfaction. Some love styles are characteristic of all love couples: mutual understanding, mutual support, pleasure from communicating with each other. Some elements are distinctive features. If we experience passionate love, we express it physically. We consider this relationship exceptional, we are simply fascinated by our partner, you can see it in our eyes. Strongly loving couples almost did not pay attention to others and mostly did not take their eyes off each other.

[Bowni]

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